Mexico city December 2015

Golden gate park, botanical garden, September 2015

Lilly Pilly (Syzygium smithii) 

 Moreton Bay Fig (Ficus macrophylla)

Eastern Gray Squirrel (Sciurus carolinensis) 

Kentia Palm (Howea forsteriana) 

Australian Saltbush (Rhagodia Spinescens)

Cut-leaf Banksia (Banksia praemorsa) 

Monkey Puzzle Tree(Araucaria araucana) 

 Redwood (Sequoioidee)

Variegata Pohutukawa (Metrosideros Kermadecensis) 

Arnold arboretum June 2015

Tulip tree (Liriodendron) 

Some notes on Iliad (II)

Achilles’ sorrow

Achilles is a hybrid, he will die as human, but he is also a superman because of his goddess mother. This makes him unhappy that he cannot live forever like the god, and have to die some way like human. And he has the knowledge of his background. The sorrow that Achilles carries all his life is like a person with parents having Huntington disease. You know you will have the disease in some age of your life and die of it.  You will carry this sorrow from the moment you know your disease gene. This also reminds me of the Replicants in the blade runner, they are full of sorrow and anger when they know they cannot live longer yet they have the superhuman power. I wonder, there are many other hybrids in Iliad, are they also destined to have sorrow? Or, they don't have it because they don't have the knowledge? Then the question is why Achilles has the knowledge.

Petroklos is a "glory of men" to Achilles, but a brother and friend to Briseis, though dear and near for both. Although they share different personal sorrows, these sorrows merge in lamentations, become one emotion.

Some notes on Iliad (I)

In the name of glory and sorrow

There are two choices for Achilles: homecoming or glory. It’s like Hamlet’s dilemma of to be and not to be, or Salinger’s mature and immature. In the hero’s time, property means honor or glory, but there is something beyond property, “the glory of ancestors”.

In Iliad, when Agamemnon gave Achilles the offer of properties, he declined the offer and refused going to the fighting, but when his dear and near comrade Patrokleēs died, he made the final decision to go to the fighting for glory. This is because, according to Harvard professor Gregory Nagy, the name of Patrokleēs means ‘the one who has the glory of the ancestors’, and Achilles is hinted to die for this glory, the way to become hero and semi-God. In a parallel embedding story, Meleagros fought because of the sorrow of Kleopatra, which also means ‘the one who has the glory of the ancestors’.

If Achilles loves Penthesileia because they share the names with the meaning of sorrow for the people, does it mean that they share the sorrow as empathy?  And the sorrow is caused by their common fate that they will die in the fighting for the glory of men (women)? At the moment Achilles killed Penthesileia, he saw in her eyes his own fate not long after. But does Achilles have the same feeling (love) when he killed Hector, since Hector's death in fighting also made him get the glory of men? Why does death in the fighting cause sorrow, isn't the glory of men a happy ending for warriors? 

The killing of Hector by Achilles makes Hector a hero (the kleos of andron) but causes the sorrows (akhos) of Andromache, and all the man try to become martyr or hero in the war, no matter what sorrow they will bring to the families. Is this the fate of human being that nobody can change? Ironically, even Achilles has the sorrow of himself to die in the war when chasing the kleos of andron in the meantime. The "kleos of andron" causes the sorrow of family in the one hand, and makes the hero on the other. Achilles may just lament about the inescapable human fate.

Another interesting thing I learned from this lesson is the concept of “fear” and “pity”, which are the basic components of Greek tragedy. “Fear” means you when see someone in suffer you want to walk away, whereas “pity” means when you see someone in suffer, you want to approach for the grief.

舊文重溫－紀念

今天是父親去世十週年紀念日，重溫舊文以示懷念。

回憶我的父親 

“父, 家長舉教者。”在甲骨文裏, 好像右手持棒,意思是手裏舉著棍棒教子女守規矩的人。 古典文學作品裏有對母親的歌頌, 卻很少有對父親的讚美。朱自清也只能在父親的背影裏心存感激。在兒子眼裏,父親多是固執無聊乏味令人生厭的角色, 除了女兒們, 沒有人喜歡他們。中國的父權家庭尤其有魔力: 人在年輕的時候, 都是忍受不了父親的約束而離家出走, 等到自己也成家立業, 有了孩子,就自然而然地變成了暴君; 從家庭到國家,莫不如此。 父子關系也是在這種對抗的張力下發展, 時而暴風驟雨, 時而潤物細無聲...... 

我的父親是個嚴厲的人, 從來都是居高臨下地跟我說話的, 所以我從小就很怕他, 不知道怎麽跟他接近, 這也影響我成年後的生活, 還是不太會跟人主動接近。我母親總是借一切機會叫我和他接近, 叫他吃飯, 跟他去單位之類, 但我從來都是戰戰兢兢, 很打怵...父親跟我的話題從來都是學習功課之類的, 以至於後來我以作書呆子為自豪。 他唯一以我自豪的大概是我的記憶力。我把家裏書架上的歷史書翻了幾遍, 對於中國歷史都是耳熟能詳了; 所以外人來時, 他也會借機炫耀一番。其他的事情, 我是很笨拙的, 他吩咐我幫忙我總是不能理解他的用意,以至經常讓他大發雷霆。或者是他的表達不清, 或者是我的理解遲鈍, 或者兩者均有。 有一次他的一個下屬給他從北京打長途, 要他記錄一些東西, 他就順勢叫我做筆錄。 我匆忙找來紙筆, 只聽他斷斷續續地喊話, 似乎是對著電話, 我以為還沒有開始, 但他突然問我記錄下來了嗎, 我說還沒記。 他惱火地搶過筆又讓對方重覆了一遍.... 

我的父親總是愁眉苦臉的, 很難見到他高興, 我記得當時有個相聲叫"老煩", 就覺著像他, 什麽事情都煩, 不管大小. 所以我很難想起他溫暖的一面, 因為那總是掩藏的很深的, 似乎不如此就不能體現他的威嚴。直到我上大學以後, 父親似乎和善些了。還記得入學第一天, 他帶我去沈陽最好的鹿鳴春飯店吃餃子的時刻, 他還跟鄰桌的一位食客聊了半天, 鮮見他如此高興過。 之後又到聯營公司買洗臉盆, 他興奮地說, " 我兒子考上醫大了, 要買個質量好的, 可以用五年的。" 一個漂亮的女售貨員幫我挑了個非常雅致的燙花臉盆。父親少有地說了些奉承話, "看阿姨多會挑, 還不謝謝阿姨"...... 後來我出國了, 父親老了, 病了, 話也 更少了。我每次回國時, 他都高興得像個小孩, 我心裏多是愛惜, 已經沒了怨恨。 他去世兩年前, 我最後一次陪他去浴室洗澡, 看著他枯瘦的身體, 我心裏很是難受, 人生如此匆匆.... 十多年前, 我的爺爺奶奶去世時, 父親還是精神矍鑠, 如今卻是風燭殘年了....老弱, 死亡是 如此之近! 

我的父親生於上世紀三十年代,少年時代趕上了亂世的尾,青年時代是熱血的愛國青年,老 年時是頑固的布爾什維克。他從華北農村走出來,家裏還算殷實,把他送到京城去讀書,希 望他能有出息,光耀門庭。父親兄妹7人,他排行老大, 最終是家裏唯一的知識分子, 做了官的人, 算是家族的楷模了。可是他似乎很少開心, 在我的記憶裏總是謹慎小心, 不茍言笑, 時常會因為工作的事生氣, 發脾氣。王小波寫過一篇雜文叫“沈默的大多數”, 說中國人生活在集權的政體下, 要做誠實的人, 只好沈默, 不是沒話說, 是不讓說。父親大概也算是這沈默的大多數裏的一員, 正直而清高, 是明哲保身, 也是無言對抗。不過父親的不善言辭也是天生的, 我們家族都有這個毛病。他在家裏除了跟母親話多外, 很少跟我們交流, 母親戲稱自己要做父子間的翻譯。他總是端坐在那裏, 眼睛凝視著我, 讓我不知所措。很多時候我感覺他對我期望很高, 卻又總是打擊我的積極性,這種矛盾的心理是父親對兒子嫉妒的體現嗎? 父子的沖突是必然的, 不管它是利比多的作用還是社會新陳代謝的作用,不過我們幾乎沒有真正對抗過, 這就是東方式的妥協。中國人自十九世紀起開始接受西方文化, 經過幾代人後, 傳統的東西越來越少, 西化的東西越來越多, 尤其是近50年來的變化, 更成為兩 代人之間的沖突的催化劑。我對父親的態度也是如此, 很喜歡西方的民主式家庭, 很反感父親的頑固——他永遠是對的。 

父親寫了一手好字, 他的行書行雲流水中有壁立千仞, 別具風格。上中學時,我央他寫了一幅諸葛亮的“戒子書”貼在墻上自勵, 後來搬家時丟失了, 很是可惜。晚年時,他給我看他中學畢業照, 上面有一行清秀的毛筆字題頭, 原來是他寫的。想當年父親也是個才子吧! 父親晚年多病, 是在母親的照料下度過余生的。聽母親講, 我在國外漂泊的日子裏,父親總是在盼著我的信,有時母親給我的信剛寄出去,他就開始問我的信來了沒有。可是他從來不給我寫信, 從來不問我什麽, 所有的感情和希望都埋在心裏了。。。 

在挪威的奧斯陸有一個雕塑公園, 中心的圖騰柱上滿是人體的浮雕,圍繞圖騰柱有十二組人體雕塑, 從初生的嬰兒, 少年, 青年, 壯年, 到老年。每天太陽從東方升起, 圖騰的影子落在第一組/嬰兒的雕像上, 晚上夕陽西下,圖騰柱的影子落在第十二組/老年人的雕塑上。那 老年的神情淒涼,無奈,冷漠地等待著死神的敲門。。。 

Iliad, the women in the war

Helen once had about 45 suitors including Odysseus, the later hero. She married Menelaus by random choice, and eloped with Paris to Troy, which led to the Trojan war. So had the saying Helen caused the Trojan war. But the seduction of Helen by Paris was incited by Venus, who bribed Paris to get him Helen in exchange of naming herself miss universe before Zeus among the candidates of three: Hera, Athena, and Venus.

The war was between Greeks and Trojans. In the later stage of the war, Chryses, the daughter of Chryseis who was the Trojan priest of Apollo, was taken by Agamemnon of Greeks as captive. Refused an offer from Trojans at first, then gave in due to the plague given by Apollo, Agamemnon accepted the offer in the condition that Achilles gave him his captive Briseis. The lost of Briseis made Achilles angry and leave the Greek army. In the meantime, Achilles asked his mother Thetis to get help from Zeus to teach Agamemnon a lesson, by letting Trojans win.

In the duel of Paris and Menelaus for Helen, Paris was beaten by Menelaus but rescued by Venus, which made Hera angry, and persuade Zeus to interfere. Zeus arranged Pandoras injure Menelaus, which broke the truce.

In the battlefield, Greek Diomedes defeated Trojan Aeneas, the son of Venus. Venus was then injured by Diomedes when she tried to save his son. Athena gave Diomedes strengths to defeat Areas, her opponent of war.

The other women involved include Cassandra, the daughter of Priam, Andromache, Hector's wife, Hercuba, Priam's wife, Eris, sister of Ares, Iris, a divine messenger, Leto, mother of Apollo. Although Iliad is an epic for Achilles, all the events seems wage around women — the war captive, the goddess, the mothers, daughters, and wives, the beauty, the jealousy, the love, the hatred...

The Trojan war was initiated and controlled by the gods and goddess. From the comparison of goddess, you may predict the winner in the competition of Venus with Hera and Athena for miss universe. Hera is a strong goddess for war, for she has the talent of boosting morales. "there Hera stood still and raised a shout like that of high-hearted brazen voiced stentor, whose cry was as loud as that of fifty men together. 'Argives, shame on cowardly creatures, brave in semblance only..." Venus on the other hand is a weaker for the war, as his father Zeus said: "my child, it has not been given you to be a warrior. Attend henceforth to your own delightful matrimonial duties, and leave all this fightings to sudden Ares and to Athena."